Monday, February 25, 2008

Ultimate Ninja Battle!

So while I was out to dinner with A Boy this weekend, he and I got into a conversation about the oldest rivalry known to man: ninjas versus pirates. We agreed, sadly, that although pirates are WAY COOLER, they're also kind of drunk most of the time and may have scurvy, while the ninja are elite fighting machines with kickass weapons. Sure, the pirates have guns, but it's not like firearms are going to help much if you're too drunk to shoot properly. It makes me sad to admit it, but the ninja win.

The Boy paused to drink some more sake, which tasted like burning at first and then rapidly became quite delicious as it cooled. "But that's last year," he said. "For 2008, I propose that last year's winners -- the ninja -- go up against werewolves."

"Oooooooooh." Starry-eyed, I completely forgot about my curry. "What are the parameters?"

The parameters, as he outlined them, are thus: during the full moon night, the werewolves are mindless killing machines, basically giant balls of furry, vengeful rage. During the day, however, they're human, with all of the limitations that implies. When it's not the full moon, they can change at will, but only at night, and there's no mad, unstoppable rage.

I'm of the mind that the werewolves are the obvious victors here -- during a full moon, they'd shred the ninja into messy wet ribbons of flesh and probably wouldn't even notice if they were stabbed in the process, and it's nearly impossible to kill a werewolf without silver or wolfsbane. The only way the ninja could take the advantage would be if they tracked down the werewolves during the day, but even that's not guaranteed. They'd have to act damn fast, because once night falls? They're fucked.

Plus, werewolf bites are infectious, so even if the ninja managed to somehow kill all of them, they'd end up changing themselves during the next full moon.

"Ninja werewolves," I said. "Just think about it. They'd be unstoppable."

The Boy smirked at me from across the table. "Whoa, you're moving way too fast. Ninja werewolves are for 2009."

My curiosity piqued, I had to ask: "So...who will they be fighting?"

There was a long pause as he tried and failed not to look pleased with himself. Finally, he grinned. "Vampire. Pirates."

I'm smitten.


So@24 said...

This conversation reminds me of the time when "Leo" and I sat in our living room and for an entire hour discussed what we would do if we got word that zombies had taken over. Step by step from when we were at work on our way home.


Good times.

janegodzilla said...

Ahhh, the zombie apocalypse. I knew I was hopelessly smitten with The Boy when he was the one who brought it up first. Normally, I'm the one who starts rambling on about zombie contingency plans and the like, so I'm taking this as a good sign.

When I'm bored at work, I figure out how I'd survive varying levels of zombie attack. When they come, I'll be READY, dammit.

Face. said...

This is probably the best conversation you can possibly have with someone. I'm jealous right now.